So, I saw the 4pm lawyer.
What an amazing fucking difference.
This was not a “this is how much you’ll pay me, I’ll be vague about your retirement situation when you ask, fill out the huge packet of paperwork on your own” visit.
He talked to me. He asked me a bunch of what I felt were good questions about the situation, to include ones that were uncomfortable for me. He knew what I was talking about regarding military retirement, medical retirement, disability, and concurrent pay situations. He described clearly the different forms of divorce that were options here in Texas. He described how the process of the divorce system here works, what order things are done in, the normal realistic waiting time on papers, even the different styles and wait-times on the two court houses in this county, how to deal with the house being in a different state when we assign it to Chael, how property is split up usually if we don’t lay out an agreed plan, and when I described our agreed plan he expressed that it would be doable.
He was just a whole lot of understandable questions, tons of info, he kept asking again and again if I had any more questions or if anything was unclear, etc.
He’s going to cost me 3X as much as the other guy, but honestly he strikes me as 100% worth it. He comes across as being very knowledgeable and honestly wanting to make this clear on how it works and to make it as smooth as possible.
I’ve thought of more questions for him, I told him I can pay the retainer on my next paycheck and get started. He wasn’t pushy feeling like the other guy; this lawyer expressed that whenever, if ever, I was ready to start emotionally and financially that I could come back and get things rolling.
On the first when my VA money hits I’ll be going back there.
Where I came out of the first lawyer’s worked up and overwhelmed, I came out of this one actually feeling relieved. Lost of paperwork still in my future and lots of stress with the process still, but what I feel are normal amounts for this situation.
Still vacillating between anger, crying, and trying to keep myself focused most of the time on other things to distract me.
Still working on move details. Thankfully, the math isn’t really that much different now that I need to make sure everything will work out fine under just my own income.
I apologize for the self-pity funk I was in at the end of yesterday’s blog. I’m not usually one for that kind of thing… but yeah, one week of such hugeness has been circuit-overload and so I get like that sometimes.
Some sweethearts saw me here and on other places stressing and moping yesterday and have contacted me as more support. Thank you so much. I haven’t been one to speak the really private details or one-on-one much with anyone at this point, but the support from others has really helped more than I can really say. I do better stating stuff around in a matter-of-fact style rather than talking directly to people so far in an emotional style. I don’t know if/when I’ll be up for more personal talks, but it’s been so emotionally strengthening that there have been folks that have expressed being there for me and caring about what I’m going through.
Really, do please forgive my whining and thank you.
D&D last night was a moderate success. Hard on the Chael side, of course, but good on the friendly evening with other players side. The wife involved did play and I really like her style now that she seems to be liking it more and getting the hang of it. She’s fun inside the game and outside of game I like chatting with her. She’s a medical sort and expanding her work into the first fighting area of that and it’s quite neat to hear about her schooling days and to talk medical stuff with her. As others out there know, it’s an area I’m familiar with to a small extent from family members who are in such careers and due to my own morbid fascination with such things… pass out at the site of certain bloody things or descriptions, can’t handle anything to do with veins, but love medical stuff in-scene, body mods, and bloodplay.
So yeah, her job and training are quite nifty to learn about and she’s very nice and cool to hang with.
Oh, and for any wondering: I get Jonesy in the divorce. It’s been understood and sometimes outright stated over the years that he’s my cat. Chael still holds to that and so far doesn’t act like he’ll try to mess with me on it. Motherfucker changes on that and I’ll shank him.
In his sleep.
Okay, not really, but no matter what Jonesy is my kitty and staying with me forever.
Here’s a funny I think I’ve mentioned before: On doing up that paperwork a bit that the first lawyer handed me, I realized again that the highest valued thing inside our house is my plug collection.
Rumpus has bought a lot of earrings over the past couple years. As I posted pictures earlier, BodyArtForms.com sent me a gift package this year lol.
Still not sure what to do about my bed. I hate to part with it but the NYC apartment is gonna be really tiny and I need to max out the room in it as best I can. It’s gonna go, in reality. I’m just dragging my feet on it.
Storage facility is another issue, but I don’t think that bad of one. Most of it at this point is Chael’s anyways, since we got rid of the books (except absolute favorites or things not replaceable). I’ve got my painting, my medical play stuff (like backboards, restraints, etc), my suspension rack, and a small box of coin collection. I can’t think of anything else I couldn’t technically part with.
The little tiny hole in my biggest incision has appeared again and I get a little icky stuff coming out of it from time to time… I didn’t mention this at the doc’s as it had healed up and seemed all happy and stuff again. Now the little hole is back and it’s odd acting once more. Monday I call Scott & White again and go get my belly checked.
Yeah, odds and ends and planning and new version of daily life.