Been A While

2013 has been tumultuous for me and many things have fallen to the side.  I’ve been dealing with a major move, major relationship changes, health issues, pet issues, and so on.

I’m aiming to get back on track here and with my videos, both, as other things get settled and worked out.  Some short thoughts just for today:


Being a dominant female involves a lot of nitpicky angles, over the top stereotyping, and subtle bigotry and lots of plain old judgment itself.

I’m quiet, I usually wear flipflops, I own not a single piece of leather clothing and am currently selling off all my animal-skin toys, I don’t feel letting someone near my genitals is them servings me or otherwise doing me a favor, I don’t hate males, I don’t only dominate males, I’m not less than male dominants because I’m not less than males, I’m not just some pussywhipping bitch, I don’t manipulate my partners through passive-aggressive behavior, I can’t be lured into dominance by a male pretending to serve me sexually, I don’t have daddy issues that lead me to feel a need to control males (and there again is that heteronormative angle), and so on.

I’m a pretty average person in most ways.  I’m smarter than most as I learn quickly and can apply what I’ve learned well.  But I’m not the smartest person in the world nor by any means the most knowledgeable in all subjects… in the great vast majority of subjects I know little to nothing about them.

I’ve always owned pets and currently have a 15+ year old cat who I adore and talk way too much about probably.

I paint and draw.

I’m usually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt when out or yoga pants and again a t.

I go to the gym regularly.

Leather has never done anything for me even when I owned a bunch of it.  It has no special appeal to me at all… it’s always just been another piece of material that things are made of.  And I’m great at shining boots not because I follow a bootblack tradition of any sort but because I was in the Army.

I throw my dirty underwear and towels on the floor when I go to take a shower.

I need a bra fitting again as mine no longer fit.

I have to like any male or female I play with or have a D/s relationship with, whatever style of relationship that is.

I have a stuff bunny I sleep with that I’ve had – literally – since before I was born.

I see someone having access to my genitals to be a mutually pleasing situation in which *they* are lucky to be allowed there, not the other way around.  Eating me is not service in my opinion.

I don’t see giving oral to a partner as my being submissive to them.

Zomg, I bottom at times.

I don’t try to run all situations with everyone.  Most of the time I’m quite go-with-the-flow with people in general.

I tend to have a hard time with eye contact and in jumping into conversations due to being introverted and liking to think before I speak.  These, along with looking down as I walk and such, are not signs I am submissive.

I try to have my relationships be mutually satisfying… whether that’s sweetness or treating them like they’re garbage.

I’m transgendered.  Not transexed.  I am a female dominant who has no gender.

My breasts sag and I have cellulite.

My hair is often lately in two pink pigtails at the back-sides of my head.


I’m a pretty average person who has a variety of personality traits.  Way more than listed here, of course.  My being a dominant female comes down to one point:  I am a female who is dominant in chosen relationships.  That’s my natural orientation.

Walking past me on the street you wouldn’t be able to tell.

I am not less than a male so I don’t need the diminutive version of dominant: “domme”.

There is nothing wrong with me that made me some aberration of nature as a dominant female, some of us just are.


So flipflops, silly makeup, yoga pants, t-shirt, stretched earlobes, lots of piercings, pointed ears, pink hair, 5’3″ tall, plus-sized, usually carrying a backpack of stuff, and listening to headphones on the subway.  That’s the glamour, the eroticism, the leather and lace, the stern mistress in boots that make her 6″ tall… It’s not all that… it’s a random person in front of you at the Target or coffee shop line.

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